What were we thinking?

What were we thinking!  This is the question I have been asking myself often lately. 

When I am feeding baby goats at two in the morning in my cold garage right after I've nursed my infant son, and all I want to do is curl up under the covers, I hear it.  What were we thinking?

When I am sitting in the laundry room on a tiny stool trying to get the smallest of our goat kids to drink milk from a baby bottle, and milk is dripping all over my hands and legs and feet, and meanwhile my 18-month old is spooning my homemade laundry detergent all over the floor, I am wondering.  What were we thinking?

When I am just getting the house finally picked up and swept because I had to feed goats, wash bottles, heat-treat colostrum, wash the pasteurizer, nurse a baby, and then I look up and it's time to feed the goats...again, I sigh.  What were we thinking?

When it is evening and I just washed the supper dishes and all I want to do is sit on the couch but my three-year old wants me to play cars with him and we still have to make soap after we put the kids to bed, I am screaming.  What were we thinking?

Because honestly, there are times when this life we've chosen is just too crazy.  We have three children, one a nursing infant, and they require constant care.  We milk dairy goats twice a day, we're bottle-feeding babies right now, we're trying to run and grow a small business which consists of us making soap, and soap, and more soap.  I'm homeschooling my oldest son in our first year of preschool.  And let's not talk about laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, and all other household chores that are required.  Being a mom, especially of little ones, is stressful for all women.  It's overwhelming just thinking about everything that must be accomplished, much less trying to do it.  Some days I just wonder what were we thinking adding something so time-consuming to this already busy life.  And so I have to remind myself just what we were thinking when we decided to milk goats and start a home business.

First, we wanted a source of fresh milk for our family.  We're a firm believer in growing our own food both for the money it saves and because it's healthier for our family.  And having your own source of fresh milk saves a bunch of money, considering how much we love milk around here.  We were thinking that since we grow our own vegetables, raise a lot of our own meats, raise chickens for eggs, that milk was the only other thing we needed.

Second, we wanted some animals for the boys to raise.  We eventually want the boys to show the goats in 4-H if they desire, but we also wanted them to learn the many lessons that caring for God's creatures teaches you.  We want them to learn responsibility and perserverance.  We want them to learn the value of hard work and not just expect the good things in life to handed to them on a silver platter.  We were thinking that having animals and living the farm life is one of the best ways to teach life lessons that help shape a child's character and attitude about life.

Most importantly, we wanted a business that could hopefully someday allow Greg to be at home with us.  When we first started discussing homeschooling, I was worried because I didn't know if I could handle the responsibility of educating our children by myself.  And so Greg said, "Then help me find some way that I can be here to help you."  And so we dreamed of this business that would hopefully one day support us to allow Greg to be more involved at home with not only our children's education, but the molding of their hearts and minds.  We were thinking that we wanted Dad, the spiritual leader of our family, to be with us more, so that we could all work together, grow together, learn together.

It's those moments when it's time to go to bed, and I realize I'm still wearing what I woke up in this morning because from the minute my feet hit the floor I've been too busy to think about changing my clothes, that I need reminded exactly why it is we're doing what we're doing.  It's for our family, our faith, and our future.  And thinking that way isn't that crazy at all.