We just came home from selling soap at our first show of the season at the Steam Engine Show in Rushville, Indiana. It's always one of our favorite shows, and we enjoy seeing the same fellow vendors and visitors from year to year. The kids always enjoy it because of the playground that is right outside the barn where we sell. It gives them a break from the monotony of sitting in a 10x10 space for 8+ hours a day, four days in a row.
 |
| Gideon, age 3, at our very first soap show ever |
Because Greg doesn't have enough vacation left for the year, he was unable to come with me on Thursday and Friday. While my mom came with me, having a toddler and a baby in the booth doesn't leave a lot of extra hands to take care of customers, feed babies, and supervise my older children on the playground. So, I let them go by themselves. Now, I was able to see them from our booth through the barn window, they were only allowed to go as a group of 4, and they were only allowed to stay for about 30 minutes at a time before coming to check in with me, but for the first time they were allowed to play on the playground without me! Then, on day 2, when I was completely alone with all the children, and they were going stir-crazy, I allowed the oldest four to walk to the ice cream stand and buy an ice cream all alone. I almost completely panicked until they all returned in one piece, slurping down the ice cream as it melted as fast as they could eat it, before I realized how exciting it is that they're growing up.
 |
| Canaan, 8 days old, asleep under a table at a soap show |
When we first started selling soap, I was pregnant with our third, Canaan. Gideon was 3 and Lincoln was 2. Most of the time, when we went to a show, we left the boys somewhere else. Canaan was 8 days old when I took him to his first show, where I laid him on a Rubbermaid tote to take a nap. Those shows were exhausting. It required both Greg and I to be there at all times. There were constant requests to go to the bathroom, to look at stuff, to buy stuff, to get a snack. We always won the dirtiest booth award, because they would spill drinks, spill snacks and then crunch them to bits with their little Velcro shoes, and throw their Legos, Hot Wheels cars, and 50 broken crayons all over for Mom and Dad to trip over while trying to bag soap for a customer. We'd have tantrums, crying, screaming, fighting, bad attitudes, dirty diapers, and throw up all while allowing our kids to consume more sugar in an hour than most kids eat in a week just to keep them happy for a few minutes.
| Passing the time away at a show playing slapjack |
|
But, now all that is starting to change. Since we still have more babies, we still have crying, dirty diapers, and occasional screaming, and since there's 8 of us in a 20 square foot space, we still have some fighting, but for the most part, my kids do a remarkable job of staying entertained and quiet during our shows. Now, they read, color, talk to customers, do little jobs, and (I'm not ashamed to admit it) play games on Mom and Dad's phone. But they've never been allowed to go much farther than the nearest bathroom alone (as long as I can see it from the booth). Gideon will be 10 next month, and we've begun to allow him just a little bit more freedom. He's incredibly responsible and mature for his age and is a huge help for me around the house. Therefore, I can now trust him to do things like walk to an ice cream stand, pay for it, and bring me back the change all alone. On one hand, I have breathed a huge sigh of relief. The fog of having 4 kids in 4 1/2 years, and having 3 toddlers/preschoolers in the house all at once is finally lifting. I still have a baby and a toddler, but it seems so much manageable now that I have older boys to be extra eyes, ears and hands for me. It's a joy to see them become more responsible, take care of tasks alone and complete them well, take over chores and jobs that leaves me freedom to accomplish other important things---all goals we have as their parents trying to raise them to become responsible adults. But it is so difficult on the heart to watch them be so independent and grown up--to look at the pictures of my little boys sitting in our soap booth, knowing I'll never kiss those little cheeks again.
 |
| A big boy doing a big chore: feeding baby goats |
I think still having babies in the house makes me forget how soon the older ones are hurtling toward adulthood. But watching them all walk away from me, out of my sight, brought in to startling focus just how short of time we have left. What a joy it is to see them growing and maturing. It makes all those hard moments of child-raising worth it. And as they continue to have more independence, and practice using those wings, we'll be right here with a safe place for them to return to, even it's just a 10x10 space filled with soap, babies, and chaos.
