Gideon is my oldest son. He is one of the sweetest little boys I know; he's super affectionate, free with compliments ("You're beautiful today Mommy!" is my favorite), funny, smart as a whip, he hears everything and forgets nothing. However, Gideon is also a perfectionist, high strung, strong-willed, and a little OCD. He likes things ordered and organized, and when things fail to go the way he's planned, he has trouble adjusting, which usually results in minor and major meltdowns and turns my sweet Gideon into a giant bear. We've tried many things to discourage this type of behavior, some successful and some not. One of our solutions is to always compliment Gideon's good behavior. We always try to praise him for the times when he handles disappointments without tears and fussing. Often though, when we give him a compliment like "Thank you for being such a good boy today," he responds with "No I wasn't". Gideon's attitude has been the most frustrating and difficult thing for me to deal with as a parent. Its root goes straight to his heart, and I know we've got to take hold of it and mold it into a heart that desires to obey before
it takes hold of
him. We often talk to Gideon about how his heart is like a garden, and he can let weeds (bad attitude) grow or flowers (good attitude) grow. But often I wonder if anything I'm saying or doing is making a difference in him. Is he hearing what I'm saying? Am I doing anything to effectively reach him? Will he ever stop throwing a temper tantrum every time I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do?
My sweet Gideon, loving on his baby brother
Then, on Saturday I took the boys by myself to a family get-together. We stayed most of the afternoon, which means Gideon didn't get a nap in, and even at almost 5 years old, Gideon requires a nap most days or he is even more volatile than normal. So, I was really dreading the moment when I had to say it was time to go. I just knew that I would end up trying to get two boys and a baby down the street and into the car while dragging a kicking and screaming Gideon. Yet, when I said it was time to go, he calmly got his shoes on, said goodbye, and walked out. He got into the Excursion, buckled his seat belt, and didn't even whimper. After everyone was loaded, and we were on our way, Gideon suddenly piped up, "Aren't you proud of me?" I answered with a resounding, "YES!" Not only was I so proud of him for not throwing a fit, but proud of him for being aware of his good behavior. I was so proud of him for wanting to obey and please. I was also almost moved to tears of thankfulness. Finally! I had proof that we were in fact getting through to him. Even when it seems that he is completely unmovable and unrelenting, even when I think I am in fact doing more harm than good, there is a part of my guidance that is slowly seeping through to his core.
My stubborn Gideon
So parents, I give you this encouragement: Even when you think you're not getting through to your kids, you probably are. Even when you think they're not listening to anything you're saying, they are hearing what you say. Even when it seems that they will never understand, they will come around. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint
, so don't give up, even when it seems you're accomplishing nothing. It is trying, frustrating, and exhausting having children, but I wouldn't trade being Gideon's momma for the world, and I'm so thankful for the little glimpse God gave me of the person Gideon is becoming. And I realize
that as much as I'm trying to refine and mold my children, God is using them to mold
me--a fact I take much comfort in during the times when Gideon is screaming at the top of his lungs in the grocery parking lot. So thank you Father for letting us watch our children learn and grow. Even when it is harrowing and daunting, it is still a privilege to call them mine.
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